There have been many books written about toxic people.  Toxic, as in “poisonous,” “highly dysfunctional,” or “could slowly kill you by sucking all the oxygen (and your will to live) right out the window.”  You may have had a toxic parent growing up (and I’m sorry if you did).  You may have had a toxic spouse (I hope you divorced them if you did).  You could have had a toxic colleague at some point in your career.  And maybe, just maybe, you have a toxic boss (and if so, this is written just for you). Toxic bosses go beyond the realm of the inept and uninspiring and crossover into the dark land of malice.  This can show up as a boss who is manipulative, passive aggressive, hostile, verbally or emotionally abusive.  This is the boss who steals your ideas and parades them as his or her own.  The boss who threatens and insults subordinates openly (or behind closed doors).  This is the boss who relies on fear rather than respect to gain compliance. This boss lies, cheats and steals.  This boss harasses.  This is the boss who stabs people in the back.  This is… the boss from hell.   So what do you do if you have a toxic boss?  What are the best strategies for bringing out the best in him or her?  How to you manage to stay sane, despite the insanity of his or her behavior?    You don’t.  You look for another job. 

And this may seem like defeatist advice but here’s the truth about toxic people.  1.  You can’t change them.  People can only change if they want to and toxic people usually have too many screws loose to see that the big problem they have with everything and everyone is staring at them in the mirror each morning.  They are so self-important and diluted that they cannot (or will not) put effort into changing because they can’t even see that they are dysfunctional.  And believe me, this is hard to say because I believe in change and I believe in people.  Unfortunately, toxic people are happy being miserable, and they seldom want to give it up.   2.  The impact a toxic boss can have on your life is incredible.  We spend more time at work than we do with our families and people suffering under a toxic boss often can’t leave the stress of it at work.  That stress impacts health, drive, motivation, sense of security, sense of identity… not to mention how all of that stuff comes home and affects the family.  The ultimate price you pay, is not worth any pay check.  Even if you have to take a pay cut, better to live more modestly and happily than to be able to afford comforts you’re too wigged-out to enjoy.  3.  Toxic attracts toxic (because like attracts like).  A toxic leader will not attract or retain the best, or brightest people.  Over time the workforce under a toxic boss will get worse and worse because only the foolish, desperate or masochistic will stay forever.  Over time toxic bosses create toxic companies, and toxic companies can last an a-m-a-z-i-n-g-l-y long time, but not forever.  Get out while the getting is good. You might, on the other hand, have a really great boss.  A boss you like, respect, or a boss that inspires you to be great everyday.  If that is the case, hold on to that job with both hands.