They say the world is merely a reflection of ourselves.  This shows up in all kinds of ways from projecting the good (and especially the bad) aspects we see in ourselves onto others.  We admire perfect strangers for their confidence, all the while overlooking the confidence that exists in us.  We lash out at a loved one for their impatience, not knowing we only lash out because we find our own impatience unlovable.  The happy, see love everywhere, the sad, see only despair.  The world in many ways… is a mirror of our own inner world.

My mirror?  My computer.  I bought it two years ago.  When I bought it, I must admit I splurged.  It was a top of the line, feather light, high powered lap top with… get this… a camera built in for video taping.  Video taping what… I didn’t know… but it could, and that was really the point.  It was shiny and new and it has pretty buttons that glow blue.  It was love at first sight, for this computer and me.  I LOVED it. 

But as we’ve gotten to know each other better I’ve grown increasingly dissatisfied, and find myself dreaming of a desk top.  I justify buying another computer in many ways, but mostly by focusing on what I don’t like about the laptop. 

1.  It doesn’t really like to be told what to do…. I can tell by the way it has to think about everything I ask of it.  And after thinking about it for several moments, it sometimes does., and sometimes doesn’t do what I want it to do. 

2.  It questions me incessantly…. And it’s beginning to undermine my confidence.  “Are you sure you want to close this program?”  “Are you sure you want to quit?”   “Are you sure you want to go to this website?”  “YES!  YES, I’M QUITE SURE, ACTUALLY!”  What’s with all the questions???!!!  It must think I’m an idiot. 

3.  My computer is s-l-o-w. 

4.  My computer doesn’t like to multi task. If I ask too much of it at once, not only does it become obstinate, sometimes it totally freaks and shuts itself down completely.  My computer seems easily overwhelmed. 

5.  My computer’s speakers don’t do my music justice.  The Foo Fighters are my favorite band… and there are moments when you really need your chest to rattle to get the full effect of their music.  Not always, but sometimes.  I need my music to thrill me.  To move me… wow me.  My computer can’t quite take me there.

6.  My computer is aging.  I know, I know, when I bought it, it was top of the line.  But now… it’s kind of a dinosaur.  And it’s showing it’s age…. the dent in the side from when I dropped it in an airport while trying to take off my shoes, chug the last of my coffee, and not tick off the ever charming security folks.    

As you can see, I have a long list of complaints, but am I just projecting my own stuff onto my laptop?  Is it really me that’s rapidly aging (and showing it)?  Am I unable to multi-task? Am I too slow?  Am I resistant to being told what to do?  Do I always have to think about things?  Do I question everything?  Yes.  Yes.  Yes.  Yes.  Yes.  Yes.… and Yes.   

I guess what they say is true, we do project ourselves onto the world.

Or I need a Mac.